XXX: Return Of Xander Cage Review

xxx_return_of_xander_cage2017Director: D.J. Caruso

Cast: Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone, Kris Wu, Samuel L. Jackson, Nina Dobrev

No, we are not talking porn, today I’m reviewing Vin Diesel’s latest attempt to drag a dead franchise back kicking and screaming into the mainstream, worked for The Fast and the Furious franchise, why not this? Vin Diesel plays Xander Cage an extreme sports enthusiast turned covert spy, returns to the XXX program to retrieve a terrorist device known as Pandora’s box captured by a rogue XXX team led by Donnie Yen. Wow, if that sounded confusing then I’m sorry but that’s as simple as I could make it.

High Point- Donnie Yen’s awesome fight scene in the 3rd act on a plane almost made up for the rest of the film.

Low Point- I’ll go into more depth later but goddam is Nina Dobrev irritating throughout this film.

If you’re thinking “huh the whole extreme sports star turned undercover operative plot sounds familiar” then you’re absolutely correct as that’s the plot to Point Break a film Diesel has ripped off twice in his career as the previously mentioned Fast and Furious film was pitched as Point Break on wheels. Anyway moving on from the plagiarism that Vin Diesel’s career has been built on, the film was directed by D.J. Caruso the director behind possibly the worst horror film of last year, so a stupid Ciaran-ometer XXX 3: Return Of Xander Cageidea directed by a terrible director, what could go wrong? Before I start tearing this film to shreds, which I will do I have a very special place in my heart for cheesy action movies, I own all of the Die Hard films on DVD. Parts of the first XXX and even the second one are enjoyable because you can tell everyone on the film thought it was a stupid idea and are just enjoying the ride but this third installment feels like there taking this film way too seriously. The film tries to create twists fit for a spy thriller and includes scenes of men jumping from skyscraper to skyscraper with nothing but their own momentum it just doesn’t work. Some of the ridiculous action was enjoyable for example Vin Diesel at one point in the first act skis through a jungle yup, skis through a jungle, which is genuinely fun to watch but there is a limit to the stupidity I can take. Nina Doxxx-return-of-xander-cage-vin-diesel-donnie-yenbrev’s stupid character crosses that limit skiing through a jungle us one thing but being scared of shooting a gun in an ACTION xxx-3-vin-diesel-and-samuel-l-jackson
MOVIE throwing it on the ground and it shooting the bad guys for you is ridiculous. These are a few reasons why I have an issue with this film but there was an Oasis of enjoyment in this dismal stupidly complicated film, his name was Donnie Yen. If you are unaware of the name Donnie Yen start getting used to it, this guy has big things ahead of him. He’s been making fantastic martial arts movies for years but has been overlooked, you may have seen him late last year as Chirrut Îmwe in Rogue One. In this film he plays Xiang the head of a group of rogue XXX agents, his character is shallow as most action movie villains are but he is kick-ass genuinely so enjoyable to watch sadly not enough of him. The film is overall a desperate attempt to set up a sequel that does not rub despite a surprise return to the franchise and a weird
cameo by Neymar.

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